Human existence is meaningless, if it is devoid of human
happiness.
Since time immemorial, man has been searching for happiness. Many
believe that human wisdom holds the key to ultimate success in the quest for
happiness. Hence, the pursuit of wisdom is also as old as age.
Happiness is like a carrot-and-stick to a
mule—forever unattainable: the more
pain inflicted on the mule, the greater desire it shows to reach out for that
unreachable carrot in front. Maybe that explains the painstaking pursuit of
happiness by many. Indeed, happiness is not only abstract and intangible, but
also elusive and evasive.
Happiness comes in many different forms. What
happiness to one individual may not be happiness to another—just as one man’s
meat is another man’s poison. Happiness is uniquely personal. In addition, even if it is attainable, happiness comes
and goes, just as day and night. Furthermore, no matter what, happiness has to
come to an end with the expiration of life.
It is human nature to seek happiness by any means, and human
wisdom is considered the most appropriate way to attaining human happiness.
During the brief lifespan, humans seek their own wisdom to help them pursue
their happiness that may come to them in many different forms, such as wealth, good health, satisfying
relationships, successful
careers and endeavors, and among others.
Sadly, the many different forms of happiness that most people
crave and pursue in their lives may not bring them true and lasting
happiness.
Why not? It is because there are certain myths about true happiness.
One of the myths is that happiness is about experiences. Accordingly, many use money to buy those pleasant life experiences,
such as going on a vacation, throwing a party, or buying an expensive dress.
The memories of those happy life experiences in the past, as
well as the thoughts of those happy moments to be repeated in the future—both
are unreal: the past was gone, and the future is yet to come. So, the happiness
created by those memories and thoughts in the human mind is unreal and
self-delusional at best.
Another happiness myth is that most happy life experiences have to
do with sensual sensations, which are based on pleasures derived from the five senses: sight, sound, smell, taste,
and touch. But sensations can provide only sensual pleasures—such as the excitement of new experiences, the thrill and
passion of sex, or the delights of a fine meal—they last only a brief
moment or two, and they do not contribute to true and lasting
happiness.
The truth of the matter is that all your
wonderful life experiences are only to be enjoyed, and then to be let go
of, just as a delicious meal is to be enjoyed, savored, and then to be
digested, and ultimately eliminated from the body. So, the continuous quest for
happiness is elusive and evasive, just like chasing the wind.
The truth of the matter is that happiness is but a state of mind,
and that is why it is abstract, intangible, and unattainable. It is all in the
mind’s eye—just as John Milton, the
famous English poet, says in his masterpiece Paradise Lost:
“The mind is its own
place, and in itself
Can make a heav'n of
hell, a hell of heav'n.”
According to the Harvard
Business Review, money and happiness are not positively
correlated, because wealth may make people less generous and more
domineering. In addition, money may not bring out the best of an individual:
the more money that individual has, the more focused on self that individual
may become, and so the less sensitive to the needs of people around, as well as
the more likely to do all the wrong things due to the feeling of right and
entitlement.
An illustration of going from riches to nothing
Barbara Woolworth Hutton,
also known as “the poor little rich girl”, was one of the wealthiest women in
the world during the Great Depression. She had experienced an unhappy
childhood with the early loss of her mother at age five and the neglect of her
father, setting her the stage for a life of difficulty in forming
relationships.
Married and divorced seven times, she acquired grand foreign
titles, but was maliciously treated and exploited by several of her husbands.
Publicly, she was much envied for her lavish lifestyle and her exuberant
wealth; privately, she was very insecure and unhappy, leading to addiction and
fornication.
Barbara Hutton died of a heart attack at age 66. At her death, the
formerly wealthy Hutton was on the verge of bankruptcy as a result of
exploitation, as well as her own lavish and luxurious lifestyle.
Barbara Hutton was the unhappy poor little rich girl! She was
widely reported in the media, and her story was even made into a Hollywood movie: “The Poor Little Rich Girl.”
An illustration of going from rags to
riches
Christopher Paul Gardner is an American
businessman, entrepreneur, investor, author, and philanthropist. In the early
1980s, Gardner
was very poor and homeless; he was often sleeping on the floor of a public
toilet. Gardner never
dreamt that he would become a multi-millionaire one day. His very inspiring
life story was even made into a hit Hollywood movie,
starring Will Smith: “The Pursuit of Happyness.”
Gardner was brought up
with the belief that he could do or be anything that he wanted to do or be. He
was homeless, but he was not hopeless. He often dreamed of wealth and success,
and his dreams were not mirages. Because of his right doing, he made his dreams
come true.
Initially, Gardner made
his living by selling medical equipment. He did not make enough money to make
both ends meet, and his poverty made him homeless for a year.
Then, one day, Gardner met
a stockbroker in a red Ferrari, who offered him internship because of his
incredible drive and sustained enthusiasm. He had a successful investment
career, and he subsequently opened his own investment firm, Gardner Rich &
Co.
More than two decades later, after the death of his wife, who
challenged him to find his own true happiness and fulfillment in the remainder
of his life, Gardner then
made a complete career change. He became a philanthropist and a remarkable
motivation speaker traveling around the world, focusing not on his own wealth,
but on humanity and helping others to get their happiness.
According to Gardner,
life journey is always a process of lesson learning and forward moving:
“People often ask me would I trade anything from my past, and I
quickly tell them NO, because my past helped to make me into the person I
am today.”
“On that life journey, mental focus is essential: focusing not
just on the big things in life but also on the small things as well;
appreciating what you have rather than dwelling on what you lack.”
“What seems like nothing in the eyes of the world, when properly
valued and put to use, can be among the greatest riches.”
“Wealth can also be that attitude of gratitude with which we
remind ourselves everyday to count our blessings.”
“The balance in your life is more important than the balance in
your checking account.”
According to Gardner,
everything begins with self-belief and doing.
“I just wanted to make a million dollars. But I couldn’t sing and
I couldn’t play ball, so I said to my mother, ‘How am I going to make a million
dollars?’ And she said to me, ‘Son, if you believe you can do it, you
will.’”
“It can be done, but you have to make it happen.”
The above illustrations show that money can make you happy or
unhappy, depending on your money values,
and how you apply them to your daily
life and living—that is, your money
wisdom.
Click here to ge your paperback, and click here to get your ebook.
NORA WISE
Copyright
© Nora Wise
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