Although unhappiness is
the underlying cause of depression, there are many other factors that may
actually cause or trigger the onset of depression, because depression does not
just happen by itself. If you have the attitude of “my way, or no way” and you
do not have the things you want “your way,” you may then become more
susceptible and vulnerable to depression.
Disappointment and frustration
Disappointment and
frustration are most common experiences, and they can be due to just about
anything in life. But one of the most common sources is people: from one's spouse who does not meet one's expectations;
from one's children, who are disobedient or rebellious to one's values and
principles; from one's parents who do not approve of one's behavior and
temperament, or, even worse, who wish they had never given birth to one.
Disappointment and
frustration are more acutely felt when an individual has a distinct and strong
ego-self, who loves himself or herself more than anyone else.
Self-criticism and self-denial
Self-acceptance is an
important element in the art of living well. We must all learn to accept ourselves
as who we are, and not as who we wish we were. We must never cherish
unrealistic expectations of ourselves, which may lead to low self-esteem. In
other words, a perfectionist, ironically enough, may become more easily
susceptible to the ultimate lack of self-esteem, which is often expressed in
depression.
The bottom line: if you
cannot accept yourself as who you are in spite of your imperfections and
shortcomings, how can you accept others as who they are? If you do not love
yourself as who you are, how can you love others as who they are? Therefore,
self-acceptance holds the key to having better relationships with others, which
is often the source of human happiness.
Comparison and contrast
We all have the tendency to compare ourselves
with others, or even with ourselves at different stages in our lives. This
comparison and contrast may lead to depression.
Despair and despondency
Feeling trapped in a
dire situation or circumstance with no foreseeable exit only distresses the
mind. It could be any situation or circumstance, such as getting an unwanted
pregnancy, having several children early in a marriage saddled with many financial
burdens but with no vocational skill, being stuck in a bad love relationship
with no way out, and many other despairing and despondent situations.
Adversity and loss
Adversity and loss are
inevitable in life. Adversity may come in many different forms, such as
accidents, injuries, and diseases; while loss can be physical loss, such as
loss of mobility, material loss, such as loss of a home due to foreclosure,
mental loss, such as loss of memory, spousal loss, such as separation or
bereavement, and spiritual loss, such as loss of life purpose and meaningful
existence in life.
Inactivity and lack of goals
An inactive individual
is more vulnerable to depression, because that individual spends most of his or
her time drifting about and doing nothing in particular. By the same token, an
individual lacking life goals ceases to struggle in life—that may explain why
depression is more frequent among the senior and the elderly. Man is basically a
goal-seeking creature. Therefore, after reaching one goal, an individual should
set another higher goal in order to avoid the feeling of being letdown after
the achievement of the goal, and thus setting off a depression.
Regret and self-pity
A depressed individual
often looks back at the past with anger and bitterness, accompanied by regret
and self-pity. "What if" and "I wish it were" are always on
the mind of that depressed individual, wishing things were different. Regret
and self-pity always go hand in hand with that depressed individual.
Biological malfunction and chemical imbalance
Of course, with the
advancement of modern medicine, medical authorities have now attributed many
cases of depression to biological malfunction, such as an abnormal thyroid, or
imbalance of certain brain chemicals. However, it should be pointed out that it
is difficult to determine whether it is the thinking mind or the chemical
imbalance that actually causes the biological malfunctioning. The explanation
is that an individual's own negative or self-destructive thinking patterns may
also ultimately lead to the chemical and hormonal imbalance in that individual.
Therefore, we should
always look at the whole picture, and not just a part of it; after all,
depression is a complex and complicated disease of the mind, and we are also
living in a world of depression.
Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
Copyright© by Stephen Lau
No comments:
Post a Comment